Decisions, Decisions Part I

When you first sit down to write your novel, and that blank page is staring you in the face, you have several decisions to make before you ever start writing. Over the next couple of weeks, we'll walk you through these choices.

This week we'll start with tense and POV. First, tense. Should you write in past or present? Past is by far the most common. Usually your POV character (or narrator) is telling the story of something that has already taken place: "He strode into the room and fired a warning shot into the ceiling. Bits of plaster fell like snow."

Sometimes you want a stronger sense of immediacy, or you want the story to seem to unfold as it's happening. Maybe something is going to happen at the end that you don't want the characters to know about, or the narrator is going to die (which obviously you can't tell about in past tense). Then it's fine to use present tense. It's most often used along with first person. "I steal down the hall, avoiding the creaking floor boards. When I reach the door, I hold my breath as I turn the knob."

Just be sure you know WHY you're making that decision, and above all STAY IN THAT TENSE. No changing back and forth once you've decided.

Of course, there's also future tense, but I don't know of any books written in future. That would be  . . . weird. Awkward. "He will caress her face with the back of his fingers. She'll lean into his touch." Yeah . . . don't use future.

This brings us to Point of View. You've got first, second, and third. First is the I/me/we perspective. We see this most often these days in Young Adult novels or Chick-Lit. It works best if you have only one POV character.

Third person is the most common because it works for multiple POVS. He/she/they. Most often each chapter is written in third person limited (no head hopping--only one POV character per chapter). There's also third person omniscient, where the narrator is not one of the characters, but an outside force who sees and knows every character's thoughts and feelings. This is NOT the same as head hopping and is tricky to do well, but when done well, can be really awesome.

Then, there's second person. You. This is the "Choose Your Own Adventure" POV. Outside of that genre, I don't recommend it.

So . . . questions? Have you written or read a book in any of the "uncommon" tenses or points of view? What effect did it have?

Going Deeper with Deep POV (& a free edit)

What's up, reader/writer types? 

Today, you've got a chance to win a free five-page edit! All you've got to do is comment below the post with two of your own examples. Examples of what you ask? Shallow and deep POV, of course.

Let's talk about deepening your point of view. This is one of the best ways to take your characters from cardboard to jump-off-the-page real. If you'll recall, my (and Gibbs's) Rule #1 is no head hopping. When you write a scene in just one POV, it's like you have tunnel vision. You see (hear, feel, smell, and taste) only what that character experiences. It's as though you've put one of those helmets with a camera attached on their head, so we see exactly what they see.

But that's just POV. If you want to go deep (and trust me, you do), there's so much more than the five senses. There are thoughts, feelings, emotions. Beyond just describing the setting and telling us what the character feels, you can show us. 

This is Rule #2. Show. Don't tell. A great indication that you're showing (and therefore in shallow POV) is when you're using variations of those five sense words: 

• Leo saw a baby fox streak across the road.
• I heard the tires screech as the car turned the corner.
• The chips tasted salty.
• She could smell fall in the air.
• The sweater felt like a warm hug.

Or the sneaky weasel . . .

• I thought he was lying.

Most of the time, it's easy to get rid of these. You can simply delete them. If we're in Leo's POV, and he tells us "the fox streaked across the road," we know he saw it.

If I say, "the tires screeched," guess what. I heard it.

You could even say "the chips were salty," although that's a little dull and tell-y. Better would be, "The salty chips stung my lips."

"The crisp smell of fall hung in the air."

"The sweater clung to me like a warm hug." 

"His shifty eyes told me he was lying."

The second part of this is emotion--the characters' feelings. Don't TELL me they're sad. SHOW me what it feels like to be sad, and PLEASE don't just show them crying. There are so many more original ways to show sadness. Throat burning, chest constricting, eyes stinging. Do they retreat to a special place where they can be alone? Eat their feelings? Call a friend? Bury themselves under the covers for three days?

A GREAT resource for this is The Emotion Thesaurus. You can look up any emotion, and the thesaurus will give you a bajillion examples of physical responses to that emotion. Seriously, if you don't own this, and you write fiction, please buy a copy now. We don't make recommendations like this lightly. Both of us own a copy.

What else? When you write, each POV character should have his or her own voice. The reader should be able to tell within the first paragraph, even the first sentence, exactly whose head they are in. We should be privy to the character's innermost thoughts and experience the story world exactly as they do. A man's thoughts and inner dialogue should not sound like a teenage girl's. Give your characters unique quirks.

Have you ever read a book and felt like the characters stepped out of the pages and sat down next to you to tell you their story? Deep POV creates characters the reader can identify with, laugh with, and cry with.

Don't settle for cardboard cut outs. Don't just skim the surface. Dig down deep, and give your characters life and breath.

Now it's your turn. Give me an example of shallow and deep POV in the comments below. And I'll choose one commenter at random and do a FREE FIVE PAGE EDIT. Be sure to leave your email address so I can contact you if you win. And feel free to share, please! Especially if you've got writing friends who could benefit from this win.)

Good luck, and go deep!

Rule #1

If Leroy Jethro Gibbs was a writer, "No Head Hopping" would be his rule #1.

One of the first things you have to decide when you start your manuscript is whose story you're telling and how best to tell it.
Either in past or present tense (more on this later). And then first, second, or third person.

First Person: Your I/me pronouns. If you use this option, your main character is telling about events as they happen to them. "My hands shook as I opened the door."

Second Person: I call this the "Choose Your Own Adventure" POV. "The airplane flies over your campsite. Do you light your signal fire or run for the beach?" And really, a "Choose Your Own Adventure" is almost the only place you'd use this.

Third Person: By far the most common, these are your He/She, Him/Her pronouns. "He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, his thumb grazing her jaw."

Third Person Omniscient: This is when you have a narrator who is not one of your characters, but who knows the thoughts and experiences of all of your characters. Often times, this is what people think they've selected, when really what they're doing is head hopping. "Marissa brought Henry an ice cold soda and kissed his stubbly cheek. He relaxed in his recliner and took a big swallow, relieved that she had forgiven his little indiscretion. Now everything could go back to normal. He drifted off to sleep in front of the game, never knowing he'd just been poisoned."

Head Hopping: This commonly occurs when a writer tells you the thoughts of multiple characters in the same scene. The hero, the heroine, the villain, the grocery store check out girl, the stranger walking by.  (**Note: This is not a valid option.) I'll use Marissa and Henry from above again:
Marissa handed Henry his soda and kissed him on the cheek, his stubble prickling against her lips. Henry swallowed, the carbonation burning its way down his throat. "Thanks, babe."
"My pleasure." She smiled to herself as she returned to the kitchen.

See how that last example jumped back and forth between their points of view? That's what you want to avoid. Once you've decided which one of the above options you're going with, you have to decide which of your characters' points of view you'll use in each scene. The best way to decide is to ask yourself (or your characters) who has the most to lose in this scene. Then you rest your figurative camera squarely on their shoulders. The reader should experience everything that happens in that scene through their senses. If your character didn't think, see, hear, feel, smell, or taste it, then the reader can't know it. Simple as that.

Breaking the head hopping rule is one of the most common rookie mistakes I see--one I made myself on my first two novels. Maybe because it was so popular years ago (and many established authors still do it), so you can still pick up lots of great novels and find them chock full of it. But if you're trying to be published today, it's strictly verboten. And I find it's one of those things that once you know it, there's no going back. Many an old classic has been ruined for me since learning this rule.

Have you had that experience? Any other writing pet peeves that ruin a novel for you? Let us know, and we'll be sure to cover them in an upcoming post.