Spelunking Speculative Fiction: Mike Dellosso: Horror and the Bible

Peter Ryan wakes up on a typical morning only to find his house empty, his wife and daughter nowhere to be found. His world is shattered after a phone call to a friend confirms the impossible: his wife and daughter died in a car accident he does not remember. Haunted by faint memories and flashes of details, Peter becomes convinced that something isn’t right and begins to question reality. When he discovers a note in his daughter’s handwriting, strange memories begin to surface that cause him to second-guess nearly everything he once believed. Suddenly armed men show up at Peter’s home, turning the mysterious puzzle of his past into a dangerous game of cat and mouse. On the run and unsure whom to trust, Peter has to discover what’s real and what isn’t…before he loses everything.

Today, a different take on things. I’m stoked to have Mike Dellosso join our conversation today. Mike writes speculative fiction—actually, get this—horror, from a Christian perspective. There’ve been a lot of heated discussions out there about how a Christian author can write anything but Truth as prescribed by the Bible.

But honestly, think about it.

The Bible is full of horrific stories: the demon-possessed, the slaughter of innocent newborns, giants, two mothers fighting over whose baby to eat first. Disturbing stuff. On the other hand, it’s also full of the miraculous: creation out of nothing, a shepherd’s staff that turns into a snake, healing, telekinesis, and—of course—resurrection. In the CBA (the Christian market), people can be dogmatic. (People on every side of every issue can. Let’s just lay that out there.)
Still, for those who believe Bible is Truth, what are we at liberty to wonder about? A Zombie apocalypse? Ghosts? Magick? Alchemy?

Mike’s here to tell you what he thinks. The floor is yours.

Thanks, I want to talk about how the supernatural plays into the realm of the natural. One of the things Christian supernatural fiction is taken to task over is that it is not “doctrinally” sound, that it is unrealistic and contradicts what the Bible teaches. Really? Does it? I guess, like anything else, it depends.

Let’s get one thing clear, just because we don’t understand something or don’t experience it on a regular basis doesn’t make it contradictory to what the Bible teaches.

Humor me for a moment while I tackle an issue I’ve dealt with in my own books. In The Hunted there is a beast, a monster if you will, that is the manifestation of evil. Call it a demon if you like. Then, in Darlington Woods, there are the darklings, demon-like creatures with a thirst for blood and death. They’ve both been called unrealistic, and I’ve had to defend them by reminding people it’s fiction, it’s not meant to be real. But are they really that unrealistic?

Here’s my line of thought. Can fallen angels take on the form of humans like the good angels can? Genesis 6 seems to hint at that when it mentions the “sons of God” (if you take that interpretation). Can Satan and his minions take on other forms? Well, in Genesis 1 Satan came to Eve in the form of a serpent, so it sure seems like it’s possible. So what’s to prevent them from taking on the form of a lion-like monster or a darkling?

Other questions: Can Satan control people? Sure he can. Judas Iscariot is a sad example. Can Satan control the weather? Yes. Job can attest to that. Can people receive visions and messages in their dreams? The Bible is full of such examples. Can God work through people in the form of miracles and supernatural power? Again, examples in Scripture are abundant.

Now, I know there are arguments on both sides about miracles and visions and such today and I respect the views of both sides. But what I deal with in my books is possibility. Is it possible that a demon can take on the form of a darkling or some other monster? Is it possible for a comatose boy to transmit messages from God? Is it possible for a man to be so controlled by Satan it’s as if he’s one with the prince of darkness?

I believe the answer to each of these questions is yes, it is possible. And I doubt that exploring these topics, these possibilities in fiction is doctrinally unsound. Trust me, the last thing I want to write is anything that could be called heresy or blasphemy. If I ever challenge the deity of Christ or the way of salvation, shame on me. If I ever exalt man above God, shame on me. If I ever portray God as anything but the Father of Light and source of all goodness, shame on me. And if I ever fail to point my stories to God, to show the power of His words, the comfort of His touch, and the possibilities of His children, again, shame on me.

The Bible is full of the supernatural, of miracles and wonderful strangeness, of evil in its cruelest and most vile forms. Can it still happen today? Is it possible? What do you think?

Love that, Mike. Thank you. 

Okay, peeps. Centralia comes out on JUNE 1st. It's available for pre-order now. Click here to snag a copy. And let us hear your thoughts in the comments.

Mike Dellosso is the author of eight works of suspense. His latest, CENTRALIA, releases June 1. Mike is also an adjunct creative writing professor and popular conference teacher and speaker. Learn more about him at www.mikedellossobooks.com and follow him at www.facebook.com/mikedellosso.

Spelunking Speculative Fiction: In Which Jess Evander Breaks Down the Space-Time Continuum

Her blood holds secrets she never knew existed.

Despite the fact that she acts as a parent to her alcoholic father, Gabby Creed feels pretty normal. But her life is turned upside-down on her seventeenth birthday when a bracelet appears on her wrist and sucks her back through time. 

Turns out she’s not even a little bit normal. She’s a Shifter—a protector of humans and of history itself. And she’s not alone. The other Shifters believe Gabby is special, even more special than the mysterious Michael Pace. Oh, and the Shades—seriously creepy creatures who feed off of human despair—are determined to capture her. 

It’s all a lot to absorb. So Gabby’s grateful to have Michael as her Trainer—or she would be if she could get her rebellious heart under control. Then again, if the rumors about her blood are true, saving yesterday will be the least of her worries.

That's Saving Yesterday, loves. It saved me one afternoon, too. Stuck in an epic downpour, I suddenly had a few hours to read in my car. It's a rare thing for me to have uninterrupted reading (without editing) time. 

I devoured the book. And I've been hungry for the sequel ever since. JUNE, people. It's almost here. 

Jess is gifted at writing in several different time periods and storyworlds at once. (She's got to be.) I asked her to tell us a little about how she pulls us from time period to time period, grounds us so quickly, and keeps the action from suffering even a beat. Here's what she says:

Full disclosure here: I’m a fantasy-light writer. Which kind of means I’m a cheater in the speculative fiction world. When most people think spec fiction they picture four-hundred page tomes that have made up languages, have names the reader can’t pronounce, and are heavy on world building. But spec fiction doesn’t have to get bogged down in the details, even when you’re writing complex layers, intersecting plot lines, and many locations.

Take my TimeShifters series for example. The books start in a contemporary setting. But then the heroine, Gabby Creed, discovers she’s a Shifter—a person who gets pulled through time to protect humanity and safeguard history. The rest of the book straddles multiple historical settings as well as a made-up place called Keleusma where the Shifters live and train.

The changing locations and time have the ability to quickly confuse a reader, especially when you consider the story is told in first person, so the reader figures out where in history Gabby is when she does. 

But with a couple tricks, it’s not hard at all.  

• Ground the reader in each location with tangible items they can relate to.

If you’re going to tell a story that takes place on a purple planet where the creatures have horns on their face instead of noses, that’s fine, but you must give the reader a way to attach to the location so they can picture it. Think of it as a flag in the ground for them that everything else can grow from. Like when you’re traveling in a third world country and come across a bottle of Coke and suddenly don’t feel so lost.

For example, while some aspects of Keleusma are foreign to a reader and can be hard to grasp, all of my characters obsess about the pumpkin muffins served there. Instantly a reader knows what a pumpkin muffin is. They can picture it, taste it. All without me having to waste words on description. Something small like that makes the reader feel comfortable in your world. And you want that. Very much.

Um, I know I at LEAST want that muffin. (Signed, Bethany)

Think of Tolkien. For all the strange names and languages found in Lord of the Rings, the world is easy to imagine because it has forests and mountains and rivers—same as ours.

• Go easy on the crazy.

Yes...spec fiction is the place to let your imagination explode. But within reason. Why stop at purple planets and horns instead of noses? Why not have them walk on ceilings and sleep underwater and eat...let’s stop there, okay?

At some point (even in spec fiction) you have to pull the reins on your imagination for the sake of your readers. They can’t walk into our heads and see this glorious world we’ve created (and even the most talented writer can’t write perfectly the world we’re envisioning). It’s easy to make readers feel lost. (Remember, help them find the bottle of Coke—offer them something normal to hang on to while they absorb everything else). Pick important and distinctive things that are make-or-break aspects of your story and highlight those. After that, err on the side of making the reader comfortable in your setting instead of making the setting crazy different.

• When you bring us somewhere familiar, use description sparsely.

Speculative fiction is my favorite genre to read (YA spec fiction, to be exact) but the quickest way an author can get me to toss a book aside is to slow down the plot and character development with huge portions of text dedicated to description dumps and worldbuilding. Worldbuilding is important—imperative. But a cool world does not a story make. Your characters are why we’re reading, so keep them the focus.

When you bring your characters somewhere familiar (for a reader), try to use that time to build your plot and characters and keep your description to a minimum. Think about the Hunger Games. Suzanne Collins doesn’t load the first chapters detailing where Katniss lives. Why? Most of us, at one point or another, have learned about mining and what miner’s lives used to be like. As an author you have to be in tune with what the preconceived ideas are about your setting and use that as a springboard for your world.

While Gabby is in contemporary time it would be a waste of page space to detail her family home because the reader knows what a suburban house in 2015 looks like. I lace in one-line details here and there and call it a day. The reader doesn’t need to know the color of the carpeting unless it’s meaningful to the story.

That’s the best question to ask yourself: Is this meaningful to the storyline? If not, leave it out.

• Use extra detail when you land your character in places that will be unfamiliar to your readers.

I know. I know. This is completely contrary to my last point, but stick with me here. When you drop your characters in a place that is completely unrelatable to our readers, this is when you can disregard everything else I’ve said, roll up your sleeves, and detail to your heart’s desire.

For me, it was when I dropped Gabby into historical situations. I needed her to catalogue the world around her so she could figure out when she was and what her mission would be—but this also served to help readers connect to the location.

In unfamiliar places, you have to take time setting the stage before action and development can happen, or else you risk losing or confusing readers.

By doing these things and balancing worldbuilding details, we can write spec fiction that captures the readers with plot and pacing that doesn't suffer because of the details, but instead, shines because of them.

Jess is giving away an autographed paperback copy of Saving Yesterday to one lucky commenter. Here's what you have to do to enter: 

In the comments, hit us with an example of something that grounded you to the storyworld in one of your favorite spec fic books. Be sure to share the title and the author. And, if you're a fan of Jess's already and have read Saving Yesterday, give us an example from there! That'll score you two entries for a chance to win a signed copy! (Who wouldn't want that?)

Get the word out.

Jess Evander is the young adult pen name used by multi-published author, Jessica Keller. Jessica holds degrees in both Communications and Biblical Studies. She writes Young Adult Fiction and Inspirational Romance and has 100+ magazine and newspaper articles to her name. Making her home in the Midwest, Jessica believes there’s never a wrong time to eat cake.

Connect with Jessica through her  Website, blog, Facebook, Amazon Page, Pinterest, and on Twitter.

When Verbs Go Incognito: Participles, Gerunds, and Infinitives

'Ello, loves. 

Today's Get Your Grammar Fix(ed) features three infiltrators. 

Sometimes, verbs be sneaky. They masquerade as other parts of speech, sneaking into adjectival and adverbial roles, relishing the danger and inherent risk of undercover work. They look like verbs, but they play other roles: 

Participles.

Gerunds.

Infinitives.

I won't take long.

Participles are verb forms with either progressive -ing endings or past -ed endings. They function as adjectives.

Watch a transformation.

Short Son's imagination enthralls me. 
Simple present active verb

Short Son's story-telling is enthralling too. 
Present participle acting as an adjective, describing his story-telling

Enthralled, I listen to Short Son as he describes Sky Dancers.
Past participle, describing me as I listen

Enthralled by the depth of character and back story his nine-year-old mind can generate, Giant and I take notes.
Past participle introducing an entire participial phrase. These can be useful, but participial phrases can also be weasels. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Gerunds are verbs used as nouns. They end in -ing, and they can do just about anything a noun can do. I mean, they aren't going to function as a noun of direct address unless some Hollywood star names their child Believing or Dancing or I'm-Not-Wise-about-Naming, but I digress.

Brainstorming story ideas with my Giant is a favorite pastime.

But with hours on our hands, our family enjoys walking, playing board games, and re-watching favorite episodes of Doctor Who.

Infinitives consist of "to" plus the most basic form of the verb. Anything nouns can do, they can do...in a similar fashion. But they can also act as adjectives and adverbs, so look out. Since fiction writers are not oft called on to diagram sentences, I'll spare you the gory details. 

One day, I want to live (noun)in a log cabin where I have a cozy space to read (adj), an energizing place to write (adj), a kitchen big enough to feed (adv) a family full of grandkids. But for now, I'll settle for a tiny cozy office in a crowded house full of love and noise.

All three of these--participles, gerunds, and infinitives--can add a little diversity to your writing. When you notice that your sentence structure feels and sounds repetitive, try replacing some common phrasing with one of these. But--as with any phrasing and wording combos--too much is too much. 

Variety is the spice of fiction. You don't have to be a grammar nerd like me, but know the rules well enough to make a conscious decision about what's best for your sentence, paragraph, page, tone, mood, character's voice...I could go on ad nauseum. 

PLAY with words. 

Thanks for swinging by,

And thanks to Emory Allen, Caden Crawford, and Miles Harrison for the excellent images!

Spelunking Spec-Fic: Realm Makers

Have you been enjoying the Spelunking Speculative Fiction series? It's one of our very favorite (cavernous) genres to edit. If you've missed the previous posts, you can click on the author's name below and catch up. 

So far, we've heard from 

Aaron Gansky (twice) 

Carla Laureano

Autumn Kalquist 

Amanda G. Stevens

Susan Kaye Quinn

Serena Chase

And coming soon, we'll have Jess Evander, Mike Dellosso, Mary Weber, and Charity Tinnin. 

It does my heart and mind good to know how many spec-fic writers and fans are out there. We're a unique bunch. And--in case you didn't know--there's a conference just for us: Realm Makers. 

Our guest today is Becky Minor, Realm Makers Conference Director, author, and artist. Are you looking for a place to sharpen your spec-fic arsenal? 



What To Expect at a Realm Makers Conference

The Realm Makers conference is a rare breed of event. Maybe you’ve been to writers conferences before and gotten a lot out of them. Maybe you’ve been to some where you felt a bit like the only weirdo in the room who would wear a TARDIS t-shirt. If you haven’t been to a Realm Makers Conference yet, maybe you’re wondering if it’s going to be worth investigating. Ask anyone who came to either our 2013 or 2014 events, and I bet they’d respond with a resonant “Yes!” What did they find at Realm Makers? Here are a few of the qualities of this one-of-a-kind conference that make it stand out in a sea of author education opportunities.

Relevant teaching

Those of us who organize this conference have been working since last summer—literally before Realm Makers 2014 was even over—wracking our brains for which fiction personalities would provide the best teaching for future conferences. We began pounding our keyboards and the pavement to enlist authors, editors, and agents who would not only provide current information, but who “get” speculative fiction and the specific breed of writer who creates it. All this advance effort has compiled what I believe is the best faculty you’ll find anywhere for the spec-fic writer.

There are lots of wonderful people out there who can teach on story structure, editing, and professionalism. But let’s face it. It’s way more interesting when all the examples the teacher uses are from Star Wars or Dune or The Fellowship of the Ring.

The bottom line: Expect top notch teaching from folks who won’t smile and back away a step when you tell them you write magical realism or horror. For a list of the fabulous faculty for Realm Makers 2015, drop by the faculty page on our website. 

Shenanigans

I heard it once said that adults who like fantasy and science fiction are very in touch with their youthfulness. When we’re young, we have a sense of wonder about the world around us, and our imaginations are in overdrive. At least deep down, some part of a speculative fiction writer never grows up. And so, we put a heavy emphasis on FUN at this conference. Sure, you can still make plenty of grown-up, professional connections. But we’ll also laugh at crazy in-jokes, put on our best costumes for the awards dinner, and this year, have the option of a little zombie apolcalypse nerf tag.

Don’t worry, none of the zaniness is mandatory…join in if you want. Shake your heads at those who do if that suits you better.

Bang for your buck

One of the areas I’ll confess I hate about conference development is that it has to cost money. But clinicians need to be paid for their time, space rental costs money, food has to happen one way or another…the list goes on. So I assure you, we squeeze every drop of efficiency out of every dime we charge. There are no expenses-paid planning retreats for our committees, no real salary for me as a director, and generally few frills. (Hence, dorm housing on a college campus rather than holding the event at a hotel.)

Not only do we keep registration costs as low as humanly possible, but you can guarantee there won’t be stretches where you’re wishing there was something on the schedule that applies to you. We’ll go beyond the 101-level teaching that happens at so many conferences, and you’ll go home with practical ammunition in more areas than you can count.

Theological Differences

Realm Makers attendees, while united by a mutual, faith-based worldview, come from the entire spectrum of theological leanings. This can make for some spirited discussion, but we assure you, we on the planning committee and volunteer corps will be keeping a close eye for all those discussions to remain respectful to all involved. Speculative fiction has a unique power to bring up the sticky questions. We want people to explore those tricky domains. But we also want to be sure everyone who wants a voice feels they comfortably have one.

Camaraderie

Any past attendee will tell you, one of the top benefits of coming to a Realm Makers conference is spending two-plus days with a hundred or so people who love what you love. This conference is a safe haven where you can both believe in God and explore the implications of “What if…” We are confident that you won’t go home with just information, but a renewed dose of inspiration, and likely a new group of best friends who will encourage you to “Write on!” until you see one another again at a future conference.

Sounds fabulous, Becky. I'll be there. Thanks for the low down.

Guys, here are some links to follow for more deets:

http://www.realmmakers.com  main site

http://faithandfantasyalliance.blogspot.com  conference blog

http://www.rebeccapminor.com  Becky's personal website

Now, put this on your calendars and register May 1! I'd love to meet you there. Comment below if you've been there or if you're planning to join us.

Realm Makers Conference

August 7-8, 2015

J C Penney Conference Center

St Louis, MO

Registration opens May 1 

Perfect Progressive Verbs

I hear Mike Myers--er, Linda Richman--in my head, hosting Coffee Talk, with the thick NY accent. "Perfect Progressive verb forms are neither perfect nor progressive. Discuss."

We'll hit this one fast and hard, because honestly? There are only a few legitimate reasons to use the perfect progressive verb form. And there's probably a better, simpler way to say the same thing. But for the sake of follow-through, here you go.

Just like the perfect form, you'll use a form of "have," to indicate that an action has ALREADY been completed before the time in question.

Perfect: I have laughed.

I had laughed. I will have laughed.  

And just like your progressive forms, you'll use "-ing" to show CONTINUOUS action in that time frame.

Progressive: We are discussing.

We were discussing. We will be discussing.

Only with perfect progressive, you combine them, clunkifying your sentence in an abhorrent fashion. 

Present perfect progressive: 

"has" or "have" + "been" + (verb)-ing

I have been telling my boys to go to bed for the last thirty minutes, so I am justifiably aggravated.

In fiction, I'd much rather read, "I already told them to go to bed. I'm done. It's on now." Of course, that is clearly fiction, because my children are perfect, and I am a mother who always does the right thing. (Oh, wait. I'm confused. One is fiction, one is non-fiction. You decide.)

Past perfect progressive: "had" + "been" + (verb)-ing

The unpredictable weather in those mountains endangered everyone without partiality. Rafe had been kayaking the day before the blizzard. He wasn't prepared, and the blinding snow kept him from the safety of the cabin.

There are times when this is necessary. If a writer chooses to tell the story in simple past tense and needs to indicate that something happened earlier--a memory, a flashback--this might be a good option. But don't overuse them. You can segue into the memory sequence or flashback and--once it's well-established--revert back to simple past. Just be sure it's clear when you come back to the main story timeline itself.

Now future perfect progressive: 

"will have" + "been" + (verb)-ing

Unless you have an absolutely legitimate reason to indicate that, up until the time in question, someone will have either a) continuously, b) frequently been performing some act, RESIST.

By the time you get to this example, you will have been reading for a solid minute, so it's time for me to sign off.


Thanks to the Roosevelts and Julie Edgely for the images.

Spelunking Speculative Fiction: Imaginative Storyworld, Immediate Conflict

Very soon, The Book of Things to Come will be released. 

Image by Dana Song

(I. Can. Not. Wait.) 

Book one of Aaron Gansky's The Hand of Adonai series promises fantasy action, witty banter, video-gaming, monsters, and a team of four American kids--all pulled into Alrujah, a storyworld that will simultaneously enthrall you and rob of you breath.

One of my favorite things about this novel is the balance between clarity of the storyworld and immediacy of action. There's no anthropology lesson first, story later. 

So I asked Aaron to share the recipe to his secret sauce. 

One of the most widely heeded advice in writing is “drop your characters into conflict right away.” This can be stated (and has been) in several ways. Kurt Vonnegut says to “begin as close to the end as possible.” Jerome Stern urges us not to wait, but to “jump in.” And then there are all the great writers who rightly argue we should not to open our books with weather or setting.

I love all these rules, and try to follow them in nearly every respect. But the intention of these, I think, is to get to the conflict as soon as possible.

That being said, fantasy readers are a notoriously patient lot. They love storyworlds. They fall in love with the setting as much, and sometimes more than, they do with the characters. I still love the shire, though I’m not really a huge fan of Frodo. Can I say that without incurring the ire of hobbit apologists everywhere? (Side note—I think there’s more to Sam than there is to Frodo. I say, give him the ring. He’ll do the right thing, and won’t whine about it).

Back to the point.

While I’m not the foremost authority on fantasy, I do know this: your world must be rich, and deep, and beautiful, and frightening. It’s hard to do this if you don’t give it some space in the opening of your novel. We need to know, immediately, that we’re in a different place, a different time, and we need to get a sense of the specifics pretty quick.

For example, is this a Tolkien-style high-fantasy, or more of a quasi-industrialized fantasy like the Mistborn series? Or is it more of an urban-fantasy, with a gritty town and corrupt government? We need to know. The good news is this; it doesn’t take much.

The Wheel of Time series notoriously starts with wind whipping across an expansive, empty plains. It’s like an establishing shot, of sorts. From there, it focuses on a town or city that immediately grounds us in the world of the fantasy.

Map by Kristin Brittner

One good way to do this is to give your characters a storyworld based conflict that may or may not be related to the primary conflict to save the world. Maybe the farm boy has to attend the harvest dance with a girl from another town he’s never met, and she’s worried that she’ll be hideous. This tells us several things—your town is still dependent on agriculture, there are multiple towns, and there may be a negative stigma about people from the other town over.

Also, don’t underestimate language in defining your world. I think, again, of the Wheel of Time series. There are several variations of “blood and ashes” as a curse. But by the very fact that we have people who curse, we also have people who don’t, and people who are offended by the use of the phrase. This helps us better understand the world.

Long story short, ask yourself this: how do I get the most bang for my buck? What’s the smallest detail I can include that will immediately establish my world? Think of this: how is your world different than the one we know? Focus on those, on language, on holidays, on cultures, on economies, and politics, and how they’re different.

And then there are those who get caught in “world-builders” disease. That is, they spend so much time building story world, they forget that there needs to be action as well. This is a problem that develops in the Wheel of Time series. So much worldbuilding, so little action. The key is to balance the two, to use action as a way to build a world. 

Aaron D. Gansky is a novelist, teacher, and writing mentor. He is the author of the novel The Bargain (2013, Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas) as well as The Hand of Adonai, a YA Fantasy series. Additionally, he’s written two short books on the craft of fiction; Firsts in Fiction: First Lines and Write to Be Heard (with Diane Sherlock). To find out more about his books, visit his book page here. And you won't want to miss his weekly Firsts in Fiction podcast either. Just have a notepad and sense of humor handy.

Get Your Grammar Fix(ed): Perfect Verb Forms

We're talking about perfect verb forms today. 

We've covered the satellite view of all the forms and tenses. We've talked about simple forms. We've seen progressive verb forms in action. And now, without further ado:

Perfect.

There were three of them in the paragraph above. Did you catch them?

Truly short and sweet. These verb forms indicate that an action has already been completed when it's mentioned. When in doubt whether you need the perfect form, try inserting "already" to see.

Perfect present: "has" or "have" + the past participle
(often referred to simply as "perfect")

I have stumbled over my own pride.

The criminal has repented of his actions.

We have already eaten five pies. What's one more?

Past perfect: "had" + the past participle
(in other languages "pluperfect")

Garfield had devoured so much lasagna, he couldn't roll over.

I had told you I wouldn't sing tonight, Lorne.

Future perfect: "will have" + the past participle

By the time you get here, we will have danced holes in our socks.

I will have written too many unrelated sentences.

And for Boyfriend-Who-Is-My-Husband, who likes to help because he loves me: 

"The watch-watcher will have watched so many watch-watchers that he will be in the Guinness Book for the Most Watch-Watchers Watched."

That's it. Perfect verb forms aren't hard. And they are NECESSARY when you're writing a story in the past tense but telling about an event that's already happened. Just don't overuse PAST PERFECT. It had gotten old FAST, in a few of books I read this year. (That last sentence is a joke, people. In order to make it work, as an editor, I know it needs the simple past, "It got old fast.")

But you have gotten the picture, yes?

More jokes.

For a chance to win a $10 Starbucks gift card, comment below if you know where BWIMH's watch-watcher reference came from.

Thanks for swinging by,

Thanks to Exterscope and El Hermiguero for the images.